Finding Friends in Your 40s is Tough. But I Did It.

I don't make friends very easily, especially not of the female variety. I can count on one hand the number of ladies in my personal circle. I've known each of them for at least 25 years. And even within that circle, I don't tell all. 

The older I get, the tougher it is to make new friends. Sure, I've met a lot of women through the peeps' elementary school, but we don't socialize beyond the schoolyard except for the occasional birthday party. (Maybe that's because I use words such as "schoolyard.")

So, imagine my surprise when the gift of friendship popped up in the form the fabulous Ms. J. We were thrown together a couple of years ago when I accepted a contract job at the company where she works. It wasn't "friends at first sight." There's always the painfully awkward "new person" phase. But one day, not too far into my gig, our friendship clicked into place and stayed there.

.

Ms. J and I are complete opposites when it comes to flair and personality. That girl has more flair than anyone I've ever met. From her fashion sense to her gregarious personality, she's shines everywhere she goes. My flair comes in flashes. Some hot, but most not.  

Put us together in a professional setting, and watch out. We get shit done, and we don't take no for answer. From work ethic (deadlines mean something, dammit!) to our drive to always do our best to dealing with crazy coworkers, we are in lockstep, and I love it. Miss workign with Ms. J. so much.   

On a personal level, we commiserate over our perceived parenting fails, and giggle insanely over the smallest of things.We listen, offer advice and hold each other up. 

Her heart is genuine, and she'll do just about anything for just about anybody. She is probably one of the first people to ever say to me, "You are a good mom." and "I got your back." and "I love you, friend." 

Check out her blog One Hundred Kind. Did I mention she's an amazing writer? She blogs about her year-long adventure in committing 365 random acts of kindness. Ms. J. thinks she taking on a challenge, but the truth is she commits both deliberate and random acts every single day. 

It's so rare in life that we meet someone who is on exactly the same page. Have you been that lucky? I hope so! 

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing ... Keep It Real.

My 3 Words for 2015 ... and a Theme

I can't think of a better time to revive my blog than the start of a brand new year. I'm three months into my new job and life has settled down a bit.  

For the past several years, Chris Brogan, has encouraged people to kick off the new year by focusing on just three guiding words instead the vague resolutions.  You can read more about his approach here. I liked the idea, so I decided to give it a try. 

My 3 words for 2015 are: 1) Slow. 2) Help. 3) Priorities.

SLOW. As in, slow down, sister! I put myself in a constant whirlwind of getting things done, and I'm exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. I also make stupid mistakes when I'm rushing. So this year, I want to slow myself down so I can think, focus, savor and be my best self. It goes along with the idea of being present in the moment. I've lost that ability and want it back. 

HELP. As in, help others. I have been so much in my own head for so long, it seems I've forgotten there are other people in this world who need a helping hand. . 

PRIORITIES. As in, figure out what's most important. Usually, it's not cleaning the house or keeping myself awake at night worrying about things I can't change or have no control over.This year, my priorities are people, especially the ones who live with me.

I also picked a theme: FUN! Basically, I'm not having any fun in life. I'm not laughing enough. And that's stupid because when I step out of my head, I realize what an awesome life I have. I want to enjoy it.  

What are your 3 words? Do you also have a theme?

Thanks for reading! Wherever you are, whatever you're doing ... Keep It Real!