When One Door Closes ...

These signs are taped to my daughters' bedroom door.
Translation: If you come in, you will have a bad day. Danger.

Some of you know that I used to be a classroom teacher. I loved teaching middle school Language Arts, but I loved teaching striving readers even more. One of the best jobs I've ever had was teaching middle school remedial reading in Pennsylvania. I looked forward to going to work every day.

When we decided to return to KC, my Ideal Reality included finding a spot-on replacement for that position. By the time we had settled into our KC lives and I began my job search, the economic recession had settled into everyone's lives, and it drastically altered the landscape of education. My Real Reality = very few permanent teaching jobs. So, I worked as a long-term sub for more than a year, thinking that building new connections and a reputation as a quality educator would lead to something permanent. But when I heard someone refer to me as "The Baby Sub," (the endearing term for the go-to person for teachers taking maternity leave), my hope faltered.

I continued my job search and landed a spot in a charter school. I stayed a year. The demands of the position and the general working environment strained me and my family, and I made the decision to walk away. I also decided to hold off looking for another teaching position right away. Instead, I returned to my writing and editing roots in a freelance capacity. Still, I hung onto all of my teaching supplies and materials, waiting for the day when I was ready to jump back into the classroom. I thought numerous times about purging my teaching closets, but could never quite bring myself to do it.

Until this past weekend.

I hosted a "fire" sale consisting of most of my teaching supplies, classroom library novels and lesson plans.What I didn't sell I either tossed or donated.

It's all gone. Poof. One door closed.

And now, I'm trying to find the open door. (You know the saying, "When one door closes, another door opens," right?) Instead of waiting for one to open, I'm trying to make it happen by expanding my freelance services. It's tough. I hate putting myself out there, marketing myself, dealing with rejection, constantly figuring out how to create my own opportunities, pushing  myself. I just want something to come to me. I want it to be easy. I want someone to hand me the next opportunity (on a silver platter would be a total bonus). That's my Ideal Reality.

My Real Reality is that I must continuing taking risks, learning lessons, educating myself and making things happen. Whatever those "things"  may be.

How about you? What challenges are you facing? Or, what exciting opportunities have you created? Or stumbled upon? Please share.

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing  ... Keep It Real.

And the Shine Has Worn Off

"The grass is always greener on the other side." Truer words words have never been muttered.

Long story short, it's been a long few months at my not-so-new teaching job. The glitz and glamour that attracted me in August have faded. Actually, they have disappeared completely. Tonight marks the last night of a 18-day (counting weekends) winter break. I head back to the classroom tomorrow, and I'm just not ready.  But, go back I will, in true Trooper Mari style. With a smile on my face and an eye toward the last day of school in May.

I know it's up to me to sink or swim the next few months. I'm going to do everything I can to keep my head above water. I believe attitude is everything. I just have to figure out how to maintain a positive one in an environment that is so overwhelmingly not positive.

What a bummer post for the Happy New Year, huh? Overall, no complaints. My family is healthy, wealthy, and wise. I found a teaching job in a market where teaching jobs are super scarce. My furnace works, and my 'fridge is full. Under the veneer of complaints, I know I'm blessed beyond belief.

I kind of sort of make new-year resolutions. Really, I make resolutions all year long. Ever changing. Ever evolving. Ever tweaking. Here's what I'm thinking right now:

1. My job will not rule my life. That is one thing that will most definitely change, starting tomorrow.
2. Be in one moment at a time.
3. Make time for hobbies. I'm discovering an interest in gardening, and I hope to take some time to read and learn and see where that interest takes me.
4. Be nice.

That's it for now. My hope is to post about once a month. We'll see!

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing ... keep it real.

Sisyphus

Overwhelmed.

I thrive on organization, structure, and routine. I used to be ashamed to say that, but I'm finally comfortable with that part of who I am. Right now, I don't have any of those things in place. For the past two weeks, I have felt like the Greek figure, Sisyphus, the guy whose eternal punishment was to roll a ginormous boulder up a hill over and over and over. It's been a rough two weeks, not just for me, but for the fam, too. Longer days, new routines, less time together. I just have to keep reminding myself that this feeling is temporary. Soon enough, I will uncover my classroom groove, and my family will adjust to our new routine. Deep breaths. Lots of patience. It will pass. Soon enough, my whole head will be above water instead of just my eyes and one nostril. Soon enough.

Here it is again: My Ideal Reality (getting a teaching job) suddenly became my Real Reality. Like many things in life, real reality rarely matches up with our ideal reality. That's ok. It keeps life interesting. I'm still enjoying being back in the classroom and teaching in a school where I think I can make a real difference.

Onward and upward!

Whatever you are up to these days (and I would LOVE to know. Hint: Comment, please!), keep it real.

Real Reality Thursday

I'm about to wrap up my first week of teaching. I am soooooooooo tired! Apparently, I have been living the life of luxury for the past year (sure didn't feel like it) because this week has kicked my hiney. But it's been good. My students are cute and fun and smart. I'm really looking forward to spending the year with them.

The school is slowly coming together. The lockers and student desks arrived today. Those items will eliminate two major headaches for teachers. I'm loving how things pop up every day. It's like Christmas. Yesterday it was our clocks; any day we'll get our phones. The lounge has a fridge, coffee pot (with all the accoutrements supplied!), and a copier. All a teacher really needs.

My biggest challenge to date - and it's not just my challenge  - is our eighth grade class. It's the first year that the school has an eighth grade (7th, too, for that matter). The grade consists of seven students: 6 Hispanic students (one male; five females) and one African-American (female) student. It's a long story, but the dynamics are not ideal. The road is paved for an uphill battle in so many ways. We're committed to making it work, though. It's a great group of kiddos, and I really want to see them succeed at this school.

I'm really looking forward to the weekend! I'm already thinking about what beer or other alkie bev I'm going to drink.

Hope you had a great Thursday. Whatever you did, I hope you kept it real.