Thou Shalt Get Your Butt in Gear: My Personal Commandments and Goals for 2014

When I read Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project for the first time, I loved it for the simple reason that it made me think. Not just about my happiness, but about  my short- and long-term goals and about who I wanted to be. I wrote a series of blog posts around those concepts. Check out the links below. 

One of the posts involved creating a personal set of commandments. I recently reviewed those commandments and decided to stick with them for 2014. While I've made progress in each area, there is also much work to be done. I've also added two new ones*. 

Be Mari.
Be a joy.*
Do it now.
No fear.
Let it go.
Cultivate your swagger.
Listen with both ears.
It's not always about you (aka Don't take it personally).
Do your best always.
Recognize and appreciate love languages.
Cut yourself - and others - some slack.

Say YES.*

I've also created some goals for the new year. I won't call them resolutions because that will ensure my failure. These are just some things I'd like to accomplish in the coming months. 

Spend more time in my reading nook.

Boost my digital media skills.

Crack at least two new publications through article pitches. 

Build a website.

Explore viable opportunities for my beta reading services.

Cultivate the new relationships that sprouted in 2013, both professionally and personally.

HAPPINESS BLOG POSTS

Happiness

Finding My Passion

My 10 Commandments

Personal Commandment No 5: Cultivate Your Swagger

Commandment No 9: Recognize & Appreciate Love Languages

Making Happiness Happen

Baa Baa Black Sheep or The Downside of "Being Mari"

Wherever your are, whatever you're doing ... Keep it Real!

Can Money Buy Happiness? It Depends on Your Perspective

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Currently, I'm reading All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending by Laura Vanderkam. This the second book I've read by Vanderkam. I blogged about 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think. You can read that post here.

I enjoy reading Vanderkam's books because even if I don't agree with everything she writes, she makes me think and serves up a fresh platter of perspective.

All the Money takes so much of what I've read, heard or experienced about making and spending money and twists it topsy-turvy. Vanderkam confronts the popular "frugality approach" to saving (cut out all non-essentials, eat rat-lip bologna for every meal and cut coupons like a crazy person) head on, boldly suggesting (and proving with data) that in the grand scheme of fiscal responsibility, penny-pinching in the small areas really doesn't make that big of an impact to the bank account, but it can certainly drain the happiness account.

Instead of asking the traditional question, "How can I save more?" Vanderkam looks at money through the lens of "How could I make more?" She also encourages readers to step back and shine a new light on their financial choices (past, present and future)  As with 168 Hours, Vanderkam's book is well-researched and peppered with anecdotes of people and families who altered their perspective of money with some amazing results.

I'm already thinking of ways I can pull down some green while doing activities that interest me.  The book isn't an easy read, but it's not rocket science, either. And while I skipped or skimmed the sections and chapters that were irrelevant to me, the book is thought-provoking, intelligent and useful. Check it out! And I mean that both literally and figuratively (I borrowed my copy from the local library - frugality at its finest!). Cha-Ching!

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing ... Keep It Real.

Real Reality Thursday: A New Coffee Mug!

http://instagr.am/p/QFmDuvn3YS/

Today is just another typical day. Target. Laundry. Blah. Blah. Blah. But it was made all the better by this little gem I found at Target. It caught my eye right off the bat, and I tried to resist it. I did. I strolled by, stopped, drooled, kept going. Got two aisles past it and had to back up. I stopped, stared, fondled, talked myself out of it, and strolled on. Made it one aisle past and said, "Oh what the heck. My cart is already full. What difference is another 5 bucks going to make? Lousy rationalization, I know. But it's mine. And I'm happy. I mean, the dudes are orange (my fave color), and one of them is holding a hotdog. It was meant to be.

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I hope you.are keepin' it real.

Making Happiness Happen

I just finished reading This Is Not The Story You Think It Is ... A Season of Unlikely Happiness by Laura Munson. She wrote it as her 15-year marriage was unraveling as a way to work through the grief, confusion, anger, and sadness. But it's less about her marriage and more about the choice she made to put an end to self-suffering and to playing the victim. Her tough, sometimes heartbreaking, and often courageous journey made Munson realize that she was the only one responsible for her happiness, for creating her ideal reality. Relying on people, places, and things outside of her control to make her happy was a losing battle.

For me, this was one of those books where, on the surface, I didn't think it held much for me. It wasn't until a few days after I had finished reading that Munson's message began to sink in. I have spent quite a bit of time contemplating her story and reflecting on how it could impact my own life. It's a must read.

A few quotes from the book that resonated with me.

• "Sometimes we just have to let ourselves be misunderstood."
• "I'm just waking up to the fact that I'm in the middle of my life. This is it. I'm a forty-two-year-old who wants to be in a twenty-year-old's body, and it's not working."
• "I'm going to get out of it what I want. I'm not waiting around for anything anymore. If I'm a garden and I need to be tended, then I'm going to do the tending."
• "Instincts are everything, especially when it comes to crisis."

I joined The Happiness Project, and  my commandments are in writing in my Happiness Toolbox!

My 10 Commandments

I find instances of coincidence fascinating.  For example, I love that when I'm wrapped up in a particular topic, all sorts of related situations, news items, and messages pop up. I guess it could be less of a coincidence and more that I'm paying attention. Lately, I've been thinking about my own happiness (see earlier posts). Along those lines, several happiness-related items have caught my attention in the past week.

1. Examiner.com - I have my resume listed with an online career site, and I (and probably everyone else registered with the site) recently received an invitation to become a part-time freelance writer. The site is seeking "socially-conscious people in the community who desire to fulfill their inner calling and improve the lives of others." Essentially, it's an opportunity to write about the stuff I'm passionate about. Small problem: I'm not sure what that is right now. Again, see earlier posts.

2. A friend forwarded me an e-mail that included a PowerPoint presentation titled, Are You Happy? The message is that happiness is a choice. You can choose to make your own happiness, or you can spend your life relying on other people, places, and things to make you happy. Which leads me to happiness-related item No. 3 ...

3. I started reading Laura Munson's book This Is Not the Story You Think It is ... A Season of Unlikely Happiness. It's Munson's memoir about how she chose to commit herself to "The End of Suffering" and hold herself responsible for her own happiness after her husband told her he didn't love her anymore. Munson's writing style (stream of consciousness) took a little getting used to, but I'm hooked. From reading early book reviews, I know that her marriage survived and I'm curious about her journey.

I think I have finalized my Happiness Project commandments. Here they are, in no certain order. My next step to is create my Happiness Toolbox.

1. Be Mari
2. Do it now.
3. No fear.
4. Let it go.
5. Cultivate your swagger.
6. Listen with both ears.
7. It's not always about you (aka Don't take it personally).
8. Do your best always.
9. Recognize and appreciate love languages.
10. Cut yourself - and others - some slack.

Happiness

I finished reading Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project. LOVE this book. I borrowed it from the library, but I must have my own this book. MUST. The Happiness Project is a memoir about the year Rubin spent discovering how she could “change [her] life without changing [her] life.” Throughout the book, Rubin emphasizes that everyone’s Happiness Project will look different. And that may be true, but I think mine would look quite a bit like hers. As I read the pages and her ideas, I kept thinking, "I could have written this ...."

I haven’t created my own Happiness Project, although I’m thinking about it. Rubin has all of the tools online, and there is an extensive virtual community with whom I could share my ideas. I’m mulling over my resolutions and my Commandments. I just haven’t taken the step of committing them to writing.

Nevertheless, I have implemented a few of Rubin's ideas. I cleared the clutter out of my closet, replaced the lithium battery in our portable DVD player, and tossed the Pampered Chef chopper that has never worked. All three items were sources of irritation, and I did get a little boost from solving the problems. I’m tackling nagging tasks such as emptying the digital camera and editing the pictures in a timely manner. In an effort to make more time for friends, I’m planning our first party in years, and I have plans to meet with some girlfriends from high school for dinner soon. I’m also trying to be more energetic and more mindful while being less critical of myself and others. Today, in particular, I’m trying to have fun with failure. Sigh.

Perhaps most importantly, though, I’m diligently seeking the answers to three related, yet slightly different, questions:

1) What makes me happy?
2) What are my interests?
3) What am I passionate about?

It's been a long while since I've allowed myself to think about these questions. I'm excited and a little nervous to discover their answers.

Whatever you are doing today, I hope you are happy!