Adjusting Life's Lens

After nearly two years of stumbling through life, I gotta get back on track. I'm tired of the head spinning uncertainty. I've done everything I can to keep myself, my family and others safe. I'm tired of the chaos. Even though so many things are still out of control, I'm using 2022 to adjusti life's lens to put parts of my life in focus. 

When I want to really focus on something, I write it down. So, I decided to go with 22 in '22, a fun and challenging strategy that mixes creativity with big to-dos. I got the idea from Gretchen Rubin, one of my favorite authors.  

Below is my 22 for 2022 list (minus two ... I'm still contemplating a couple of ideas). 

1. Listen more. I want to put down my book/phone, or stop what I'm doing for the few minutes it takes for the people I love to share with me. I've gotten really bad about half-listening, asking questions and not waiting for the answer, of responding with, "OK" or "Uh-huh."

2. Catalog my mom's 45s. My mom passed away from cancer when I was five years old. She left behind a mini collection of mint condition 45 records. I've moved them with me I don't know how many times over the years, mostly for sentimental reasons. As I've gotten older, I realize they are a snapshot into the early life of a person I never got to know. They reflect her musical tastes when she was young and single — Elvis, Ray Charles, waltzes, orchestra music, operas, popular artists in the 50s. I've created a spreadsheet to catalog them. 

3. Create a cocktail notebook. I'm a pandemic bartender. Probably the slowest one in the universe, but I love learning the science behind mixing drinks and the different techniques used in crafting them. I have drink recipes earmarked in every issue of Imbibe magazine and I want them all in one place for easy access. Just gotta decide how to organize my notebook. By season? Base ingredient?  

4. Create a travel notebook. The list of places I want to see in this world is never ending. I clip magazine articles, bookmark websites and jot down names of interesting places.  Like the cocktails, I want them all in one place. 

5. Get our stucco project done. We contracted with someone in April 2021. Rainy weather and other obstacles have kept this from getting done. Fingers crossed!

6. Have the house painted. It's overdue but ... see No. 5.

7. Add some curb appeal. Our landscaping is a hot, scraggly mess, and I hate it. But, see Nos. 5 and 6.t has to wait until the house gets painted. 

8. Write at least one blog post a month. Stop laughing. I'm still trying to figure out how passionate I am about this blog!

9. Watch at least one movie a month. This is a hold over from 2020, where I wanted to go to the theater by myself once a month. I got January and February in. So, whether it's in the theater or streaming, I'm looking forward to seeing some great stuff!

10. Attend at least six City Council meetings. I've lived in our town for 10 years and have attended maybe two meetings. I'm curious about how things works. 

11. Plan a trip to Canada. We hope to travel later this year. 

12. Plan a dream trip to Bali. This was on my 2020 list. Maybe I'll get it done this year. 

13. Get the elm tree trimmed. Another house to-do. 

14. Create a plan to makeover the main bedroom. Just a refresh. 

15. Complete all 30 days of Rachel Cargle's #DoTheWork course. 

16. Watch at least one PBS show a month, other that Masterpiece Theatre because I do that anyway. 

17. Establish 10-minute Tuesdays. A sneaky effort to get the peeps to spend 10 minutes with me engaged in physical activity. Stop laughing. 

18. Improve the look of my hands.  I'm a nail biter, cuticle cutter, handwringer. I want to develop habits that make them and keep them pretty. As a first step, I bought a NAME OF HAND MASK and link. 

19. Eat at least two servings of fruits and two servings of vegetables most days. It's not the recommended daily serving, but it's achievable goal for me. Just want to be more mindful and create a habit. 

20. Learn how to create my own social medial graphics. Beyond photos. 

21. TBD

22. TBD

If you've set goals or have just been thinking about things you'd like to do/hope to do this year, I wish you the best! Please share! 

Looking for More?

18 in '18

2020 Goals: Why I Took a Step Back

My 2022 Focus Phrase: I Am Here

"My 22 for 2022" pdf (Gretchen Rubin download)

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing ... Keep It Real.  

2020 Goals: Why I Took a Step Back

I mentioned in my previous post that I was working on establishing some goals for 2020, and I hoped to share them soon. It's time! 

My list is MUCH shorter than it has been in previous years. In 2018, I decided to follow Gretchen Rubin's lead and define 18 goals for 2018. Last year, I wrote 19 goals for 2019 (I wasn't blogging much, so I didn't post them). I had no problem coming up with different things I wanted to accomplish, but I wasn't super successful in getting them done. 

So, I took a step back. Ideal Reality vs. Real Reality. I wrote just eight goals for 2020. 

1. Figure out my digestive health. I won't go into much detail (you're welcome!), but something's not quite right. To help me reach the goal, I committed to keeping a food journal and being more mindful of portions. Progress: I tracked my food every day in January, but II wasn't very mindful of how much I was eating. Baby steps, right? 

2. Create a online portfolio. Progress: Done! For someone who doesn't have design skills, I think I did a pretty good job. A digital portfolio is something I've wanted to do for a while, and I'm thrilled to mark it off the list. 

3. Determine the next step in my career (related to Goal No. 2). I'm not 100% sure, but it may be time for a change. Progress: Early stages of soul searching

4. Volunteer for at least one literacy-related event. I'm am passionate about literacy and making sure everyone has access to the tools they need to learn how to read, especially kiddos. I had to cool that passion for a few years. I'm looking into getting involved with Reach Out and Read Kansas City. Progress: They're hosting a 5K fundraiser in April, and I'm thinking about signing up. 

5. Plan a someday trip to Bali. Lounging in a hut over the ocean in an exotic location is on my bucket list. 

6. Call or see Rachelle at least one time a month. Rachelle's my best friend. We've known each other since Ms. Gibler's 4th Grade class ... 40 years ago. She lives on the other side of state. We're good at staying in touch by text, but we're both looking to strengthen our bond a bit this year. Progress: We talked on the phone in January and have a date set to meet up in February. Yay!

7. Read 31 books. Last year, I read 30, so I upped it by one this year. Progress: Two down, three in progress. Connect with me on Goodreadshttps://www.goodreads.com/. 

8. Go to one movie alone every month. I used to love going to the movies by myself, so I'm excited about this goal. In January, I saw Jo Jo Rabbit. I didn't realize it was an Oscar-nominated film until after. I just picked one that sounded good. I'd recommend it. I have February's picket out: Downhill. The trailer looked good; the reviews are meh. I'll let you know what I thought. 

There you have it! Do you set goals? Any you want to share? Please leave a note in the comments!

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing ... Keep It Real.

18 in '18

Happy New Year! Yep, long time, no write. Ah, life. 

Life's been good. No complaints. Just dropped out of site for a stretch. 

Like so many people, with the start of the New Year, I'm looking for something, well, new. Different. Challenging. 

That's why I jumped on Gretchen Rubin's 18 in 2018 bandwagon. It's a list of 18 projects, dreams and curiosities I want to tackle this year. 

When I put pen to paper (God, I love me some good old fashioned pen and paper action), I expected it to take a while to come up with 18 things for my list. But, the ideas started flowing, and it took no time at all. Apparently, there's more going on in my noggin than I realized! In fact, in true overachiever fashion, I initially cranked out 25 goals. 

I've read that pushing your goals out into the world makes you more likely to achieve them, or at least make steady progress. So, here goes!

Mari's 18 for 2018

1. Play all the games and put together all the puzzles in our game closet at least once.
2. Make all the craft kits and science projects in the game closet. 
3. Try kayaking.
4. Watch The Godfather Trilogy. It comes on on Netflix this month. I would prefer to read the books (I hear they are so, so good), but movies will have to on this one.
5. Blog at least once every two weeks.
6. Meal plan for at least one week each month using at least one new recipe. I got a Lidia's cookbook for Christmas!
7. Do a latch hook project. I was obsessed with these when I was 10-11 years old. I am super excited to give this a whirl.
8. Refinish the coffee table-turned-bench that I bought for $7 at Savers last year.
9. Restain the entryway woodwork.
10. Read at least 18 books.
11. Find a  financial planner.
12. Get our estate in order. 
13. Practice mindfulness with my eating, which includes tracking my sweets. 
14. Connect more often with people I admire, enjoy and like being around.
15. Have more outdoor adventures. Go hiking at least once a month when the weather gets warmer, plus camp at least three time this spring/summer/fall.
16. Upgrade our camping gear.
17. Refrain from climbing into bed before 9 p.m. at least three days a week.
18. Teach the peeps a few more cooking skills. 

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing  ... Keep It Real.

Thou Shalt Get Your Butt in Gear: My Personal Commandments and Goals for 2014

When I read Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project for the first time, I loved it for the simple reason that it made me think. Not just about my happiness, but about  my short- and long-term goals and about who I wanted to be. I wrote a series of blog posts around those concepts. Check out the links below. 

One of the posts involved creating a personal set of commandments. I recently reviewed those commandments and decided to stick with them for 2014. While I've made progress in each area, there is also much work to be done. I've also added two new ones*. 

Be Mari.
Be a joy.*
Do it now.
No fear.
Let it go.
Cultivate your swagger.
Listen with both ears.
It's not always about you (aka Don't take it personally).
Do your best always.
Recognize and appreciate love languages.
Cut yourself - and others - some slack.

Say YES.*

I've also created some goals for the new year. I won't call them resolutions because that will ensure my failure. These are just some things I'd like to accomplish in the coming months. 

Spend more time in my reading nook.

Boost my digital media skills.

Crack at least two new publications through article pitches. 

Build a website.

Explore viable opportunities for my beta reading services.

Cultivate the new relationships that sprouted in 2013, both professionally and personally.

HAPPINESS BLOG POSTS

Happiness

Finding My Passion

My 10 Commandments

Personal Commandment No 5: Cultivate Your Swagger

Commandment No 9: Recognize & Appreciate Love Languages

Making Happiness Happen

Baa Baa Black Sheep or The Downside of "Being Mari"

Wherever your are, whatever you're doing ... Keep it Real!

Real Reality ThursdayFriday

My Real Reality Thursday posts have been hit or miss lately, haven't they? Well, I have a reeeeeeeeeeeealy good reason this week.

Last night, my friend, Heather, and I listened to Gretchen Rubin speak about her new book Happier At Home. Gretchen autographed our books, and agreed to take a picture with us. No one else was getting their picture taken, so we thought maybe she didn't do that sort of thing. But Heather said we should ask (Heather is brave, and she embraces life). So, I blurted out, "Do you take photos with people?" Eloquent, yes? And Gretchen said, "Sure!" We started a trend. Lots of people behind us started having their pictures taken with her.

It was a lovely night. Gretchen came across as an articulare, intelligent, curious person. I am fascinated by how she grasps onto seemingly simple ideas, researches them, dissects their different angles, and shares her findings and thoughts. Her voice is rather relaxing and calm, and she possesses a wonderfully understated sense of humor.

I can't wait to dive in her book!

 

Gone Girl Interruptus

I've been meaning to jump on here and dazzle you with my stories of powdered peanut butter and dinner parties gone wrong. But my friend, Heather (of Battery Brains fame), challenged me to read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn by September 20, so we could discuss it over din din before we see Gretchen Rubin, (author The Happiness Project and Happier At Home). I told Heather I would TRY to get it read, or at least most of it.

Uh, well, reading this book is almost all I've done for the past several days. I usually shy away from books that everyone and their Aunt Millie like, but I gave this one a chance. A big chance. A "Why  must life interrupt my reading of this book?" chance. All I can think about is when I will have another opportunity to sneak away with my book. Can we say ADDICTED?

I'm almost done ... and then I'll be back to regale you with stories about powdered peanut butter and dinner parties gone wrong.

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing ... Keep It Real.

Ideal Reality Becomes Real Reality: Meeting Gretchen Rubin

 I've mentioned several times around this blog how much I love the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It's one of my all-time favorite books because it just makes sense to my world. It's well-written and well-researched. It's just a uniquely intelligent literary work.

So you can imagine how super excited I was to read that she has a second book coming out on September 4: Happier At Home. I cannot wait to get my hands on this!

But wait, there's more ...

Gretchen, a  KC native, is coming to Unity Temple on the Plaza! She will be in town September 20 to talk about her new book. I ordered up a couple of tickets and a copy of the book yesterday from the local bookseller, Rainy Day Books.

But wait, there's more ...

My friend, Heather, who writes the brilliant blog, Battery Brains, is driving up from Jefferson City to come with me! I love spending time with Heather and hate that our visits are way, way, way too rare. (By the way, if you haven't been reading Heather's blog, you are missing out. She is a crazy-talented writer with life wisdom beyond her years!)

It doesn't get much better than this!

Oh ... and I have an extra ticket to the event if anyone is interested!

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, keep it real.

Stack Attack

That stack of books represents my reading list for 2012. A few I received as Christmas presents this year. Some I've had for months. Some I've had for years. Yes, years. Only one will be a reread. I am determined to get through this pile. I am going to try really hard to resist the siren's call of book reviews, book recs, book stores. That said, I already know one book that I must have this spring:  Trail of the Spellmans. It's the fifth book in the Spellman series by Lisa Lutz. Love. That. Series.

Here's the list. Sorry, no links. I'm typing fast and furiously while my vat of Three-Bean Pumpkin Chili with Turkey simmers on the stove (another endeavor: try more new recipes) and while Mr. Mark and the girls are playing some sort of dungeons and dragons game on his phone.

Sanctuary - William Faulkner (saw the B/W movie Temple Drake awhile back. It was made from this book. Love me some Willie F.)

The Scarlet Pimpernel  - Baroness Emmuska Orczy (read a excerpt while I was tutoring 7th graders; up my alley)

Mockingjay - Suzanne Collins (third book in The Hunger Games series)

The Help - Kathryn Stockett

Basic Teachings of the Buddha - Glenn Wallis (I find the basic concepts on Buddhism interesting.)

Selected Letters of Martha Gelhorn - Caroline Morehead (Love me some Martha G.)

The Happiness Project - Gretchen Rubin (reread)

A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

The Wonders of Solitude - Dale Salwak

Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins (second book in The Hunger Games series; 50 pages left to read)

Hobby Farm: How To Create and Maintain Your Hobby Farm or Great Estate - Kristen Hampshire (gardening is a hobby that I'm going to cultivate this year - pun totally intended)

I am fighting a big SHOULD with this endeavor, as in "I should be reading all sorts of Young Adult literature so I can make great recommendations to my students." But I don't want to. And I'm wondering if that's a sign that teaching is no longer where I'm supposed to be. Or maybe it's just a sign that I am burnt out.

Whatever you do this week, wherever you are, whatever you read - keep it real!

Real Reality: Being Who You Really Are

One of my all-time favorite books is The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Her recent blog post Beware the Snare of the Linen Cocktail Napkin really gets to the heart of the challenge of finding common ground between our ideal reality and our real reality

Pity Party - Over and Out

The pity party is over. I love how the space of a few days and a little reflection pulls things back into perspective for me. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, click here.

First, 110 people applied for the job, and only a handful were invited to interview. My husband offered this encouragment: "If there were over 100 applicants, you could be in the top 2% and still not get the job." That made me feel a little better.

Second, I came across one of Gretchen Rubin's (author of The Happines Project, one of my favorite books) personal commandments: Find the Fun in Failure. There is always a lesson to learn from failing. After a few days, I realized that the lesson I learned was not that I am a loser. (My catch phrase for a couple of days. I told you I had a pity party.) Instead, I learned I needed to brush up intergrating technology into the classroom, motivating students, and effectively communicating what I believe every English teacher needs to know in terms of content knowledge. I'll be ready for the next interview.

My gut feeling says there will be a next interview, and doors will open. They may not be the doors I expect and they may not open on my timetable, but I guess but that's the thrill of life, right? Onward and upward.

Finding My Passion

I still have The Happiness Project on the brain. I ordered my own copy earlier this week. I was over the moon that Gretchen Rubin took a few minutes to post a very sweet note about my last blog! After I read her comment, I reread the quote I posted at the top of my blog, the one that gave me the idea for the title. It's from the book Edward Sawtelle by David Wroblewski. As I read the quote, a shiver ran down my spine. In her book, Gretchen writes about ideal reality when she introduces her commandment to Be Gretchen. This involves exploring what really interests her instead of trying to find happiness in things that she thinks should interest her. I, too, spend so much time trying to find happiness in people, places, and things that, truth be told, don't really make me happy.

My husband and I watched the movie Julie & Julia the other night. Fabulous movie. At its core, the movie is about two women, a generation apart, trying to discover their passions. Julia Child tried government work, hat making, and bridge playing before she discovered her love of and talent for cooking. Julie Powell followed a similar path: government work, cooking, blogging, full-time writing.

What about me? I still haven't found what I'm looking for (U2 anyone?) I have found myself thinking more about what doesn't really interest me. I'm working at stripping away the layers of ideal reality so I can just Be Mari.

Happiness

I finished reading Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project. LOVE this book. I borrowed it from the library, but I must have my own this book. MUST. The Happiness Project is a memoir about the year Rubin spent discovering how she could “change [her] life without changing [her] life.” Throughout the book, Rubin emphasizes that everyone’s Happiness Project will look different. And that may be true, but I think mine would look quite a bit like hers. As I read the pages and her ideas, I kept thinking, "I could have written this ...."

I haven’t created my own Happiness Project, although I’m thinking about it. Rubin has all of the tools online, and there is an extensive virtual community with whom I could share my ideas. I’m mulling over my resolutions and my Commandments. I just haven’t taken the step of committing them to writing.

Nevertheless, I have implemented a few of Rubin's ideas. I cleared the clutter out of my closet, replaced the lithium battery in our portable DVD player, and tossed the Pampered Chef chopper that has never worked. All three items were sources of irritation, and I did get a little boost from solving the problems. I’m tackling nagging tasks such as emptying the digital camera and editing the pictures in a timely manner. In an effort to make more time for friends, I’m planning our first party in years, and I have plans to meet with some girlfriends from high school for dinner soon. I’m also trying to be more energetic and more mindful while being less critical of myself and others. Today, in particular, I’m trying to have fun with failure. Sigh.

Perhaps most importantly, though, I’m diligently seeking the answers to three related, yet slightly different, questions:

1) What makes me happy?
2) What are my interests?
3) What am I passionate about?

It's been a long while since I've allowed myself to think about these questions. I'm excited and a little nervous to discover their answers.

Whatever you are doing today, I hope you are happy!